Rollercoaster – When Control in School Leadership Starts to Feel Out of Control
Updated: Jul 7
Hold On Tight!
What feels harder to let go of than it looks?
Where do you hold on tighter than you want to?
What feels out of control right now?
What are you carrying as a school leader that no one else can see?
In school leadership, control can look steady from the outside.
Controlled. Structured. Certain.
But control in school leadership doesn’t always feel like control.
Often, it feels like decisions already in motion - where holding on becomes the only option.
It looks like control from the outside. But inside it can feel like holding on for the next drop.
A child asked me if I liked rollercoasters.
I said I loved the idea of them. That sense of letting go. Of not being in control.
But the reality feels different. The moment the bar locks in place, something shifts. The body prepares. Something braces.
There are the climbs. Slow, steady, predictable. Then the drop. Sudden. Unchosen. Already in motion.
It is safe. It usually is. But it does not feel safe. Not in the body. Not in the moment.
School leadership can feel like that. From the outside, it looks held. Structured. Certain. Inside, it can feel like movement you cannot step away from.
The decisions are already in motion. The consequences already attached. And you are still there, holding it.
HERE’S WHAT I’VE LEARNT
Wanting to let go does not mean you can. Not when so much depends on you.
The tension is not the ride. It is holding it alone.
CARRY THIS WITH YOU
· It can feel unsafe even when it isn’t
· Holding on can look like strength from the outside
· Letting go requires something to hold you
There is a version of school leadership that looks composed at all times.
Decisions made. Direction clear. Movement constant.
And there is the internal experience. The weight of holding outcomes that are already in motion.
The moments where there is no obvious place to put the thinking down.
Coaching is not about changing the ride.
It is a space where the holding eases. Where the thinking has somewhere to land.
This is the inner work of leadership.
I help school leaders who feel like they’re slowly disappearing into the job -
find their way back.
If this resonates, I offer a complimentary 30 ‑ minute session where we focus on one thing that’s on your mind.
A simple space to step back, think clearly, and begin to feel like yourself again.